A Moment of Grace

Ok, now that I have your attention, I wanted to say hi. I don't know what to write about. But here we go!

Honestly I don't know what has been going on with me lately, I seem to just be very down and disappointed about a lot of things. Maybe I just need to become more positive? Maybe I need to realize that some things that I do are just stupid and that I should just get over it. Maybe I need to trust people more, because I feel like I do trust people. And yet I feel as if I need to prove that there is no need to judge me in a bad way. I feel as if I need to prove to people that I'm not as "loud, and obnoxious" as many people think of me. I don't need to do that though, I mean really I don't diserve such treatment. And when people treat me that way they are really making themself look stupid for how they are judging on how I/ people acted in the past. Narrow minded eh? I honestly don't think I'm that horrible a person. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone does stuff wrong. So am I a horrible person because I'm more outspoken about things then other people?

Isn't it bravery if someone speaks up and says something instead of sitting there just like the crowd? Or why is it that some people can speak up because they are socially accepted, and yet other people who are not as "popular" or accepted try to say something they are persicuted and told that they need to be quiet? Isn't this suppose to be a free country and people to have freedom of speech, and yet people are told to be quiet because they are not socially accepted? Why does it matter if people like you or not? Why does it matter how people see you? Because it affects how your treated and what you are able to do in your life.

Why don't I trust people? Because what is the point of trusting people who I know will hurt me in the end? And that my friends is also the reason as to why trusting people is so hard for me. Because I feel like I will eventually be hurt in the end. But when someone says something to me, why don't I believe them? Why do I harp over something said to me? Because I feel like I trust the person who says it, but I don't trust the people who affect it. Which is stupid of me. If someone says they will be there, or something will happen. I should believe them, not because its the nice thing to do, but its the logical thing to do. What honestly is going to change them from what they said they would do? Nothing. Unless its their choice to change. Like its my choice to trust more, and believe people more. Not because I had things happen to me that made me change, because I decided I want to change. To stop being stupid, to stop causing stupid things, and to stop pointless drama.

I'm gonna edit this later, Let me think more on it.

I like purple, so my edit is going to be in that color. Ew that was like.. pinkish purple. Blahhh! Anyway back to what I was saying. I need to realize what I have been doing, and how it affects me and how I treat people. Why do I need to be ridiculous, and crazy when I know that I trust the people I know well. I don't understand my own actions, and I need to stop being so stupid.

Overall people suck, and I have been stupid recently, where I need to understand and realize that I need to trust. More then I have for a while.

Today I had a day of Latin, I’m gonna complain, tell you funny things, and then also tell you about how JCL is amazing.

Complaining: Today I have had a headache all day, I have not had a time where my head does not hurt. I have taken I-Bee (ibuprofen) twice today and I am going to take another dose in a few minutes if my head still it hurting as bad as it has been. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe I have a migraine or something, but my temples have been pounding. Oh just took my third dose of I-bee. Anyway my head has been killing me so much today, coughing (which I have been doing a lot) seems to make it hurt worse, as well as being around people in Latin who seem to think that yelling everywhere they go is a great idea. My head hurts, really bad.

More Complaining: I was bitched at. Again, and it bugs me. First of all let me tell you that my phone is broken, it does not work with the front keys aside from the options key and the call key. So aside from those the others have malfunctions to them. Other then that I also have found out that my phone does not work on vibrate. It now will only be on silent, or ringer. Which is horrible for me, but it hasn’t been working for a while. Anyway back to what happened. I was texting once during the assembly at the Latin convention, to ask my friend Evan from a different school if he was in Latin, and if he was there. Because I miss him and Sarah got really pissed off about it. I didn’t think about it because it wasn’t like I was texting some random person for no reason. And I apparently continued to piss her off because I barged in on a picture behind her and I leaned on her. Whatever I don’t care. Anyway, I blew it off but people started treating me kinda.. bad. By ignoring me and not listening to anything I had to say. As I continued to go to the testing, I went into a room that had everyone’s stuff in it. It was the designated room for my school. Anyway I was in there for testing because at Latin conventions have you take tests to find out your knowledge. During the testing in our room, there was a phone vibrating near some people’s stuff during the whole testing. And then I had a F’n senior come up to me afterward to tell me that I have to turn my phone off because it was MY phone that was vibrating during the testing… Which is kinda bullshit, because well my phone doesn’t go on vibrate. So I told her so, and she got all pissed off at me, telling me I need to turn my phone off. My reply being that I can not turn off my phone, because then I would have to physically take out the battery and keep them separated. ( Remember my buttons don’t work on the front of my phone). From that she got even more pissed off. And I finally said f it to the whole conversation. Then the rest of the whole convention she continued to be pissed off at me, and so did other people who are her friends, causing more pointless drama. I even said to Cody at the beginning of the testing “Oh someone needs to put their phone one silent, that’s going to get really annoying really quick.” CLEARLY everyone in the room had heard me.. but yet again pointless stupid drama.

Funny thing: While I was at the convention I met some people from another school, which is great, because they were completely awesome. And I met a girl named Sam, as well as a guy named Jesse, and Eric( aka Chan). They are really awesome people, and it was funny because my neighbor named Tom came up to us, and I introduced Sam to him as Bellatrix (like Harry Potter), and Tom was like, “Oh! That’s really cool!” after asking me if I was serious, and I said yes. As we continued on he continued to believe that her name was Bellatrix to in the end ask me before we leave if her name was really that. I told him no. He had believed me the whole time that her name was that, from Harry Potter. That was really funny, and amusing to me.

JCL is amazing: Without a headache, I probably would say I had the time of my life tonight, because it was so ridiculously fun in the end. I got talking to a few guys, and then to Sam and a girl named Hope. They were damn cool people. And I love meeting new people, they don’t judge me like other people in my school do. I have to deal with that a lot. JCL is kinda like MYL in the sense that people won’t judge you very easily, the only big difference between the two would be that MYL you don’t have to deal with stupid drama and people from your school, you just have amazing people accepting you within a matter of seconds. I love MYL and JCL.

:D
Hope I amused you my nonexistent readers.

Oh T.V. what happened to the amazing animated shows like Rugrats, Ahhh! Real Monsters, Renn and Stimpy, Angry Beavers, Catdog, and much much more. It becomes a sad day when one older (like myself, to about age 28) can not go to nickelodeon (nickalodian as I spell it) (now called nick) and find a decent television show. I have also recently got addicted to TV shows, that I am watching online.

Now that I think about I am addicted to alot of things, that I don't realize. here let me list my things I'm addicted to:
The TV shows being:
Angel
Lost
Websites I'm addicted to:
Facebook.com
stumbleupon.com
mylifeisaverage.com
hulu.com
Youtube.com
(a new addiction) blogger.com
Things in general I am addicted to:
Tiff Shaw
Texting
Computers
Art
Talking
Pennies (inside joke)
Water ( that is delicious stuff!)
Photography (which is technically art)
Sleep
Eating

I think thats honestly all my addictions. I think I have enough. I don't need anymore. If there are anymore that I didn't think of, please comment to tell me what else I am addicted to.


Side note: I am in denial about my spelling errors, so please figure out what I am saying if the word does not fit. Its like a Puzzle!

Ok so today, lets see what I did, I got the F'N H1N1 Vaccine, and let me just tell you. IT HURTS! BAD! I'm so mad, I hate medical things in general, because well.. medicine hates me. And I don't like being on drugs. Drugs are bad m'kay? I hate medicine so much. I'm very unhappy about this vaccine, its not very nice to me. I am in excrusiating pain in my left arm while carrying things, because of the shot. I hate it. So much. This is what my pain looked like when I discovered the pain. I am a very very very unhappy person currently, I will probably continue to be unhappy until tomorrow night.

Honestly lately I have seemed to notice, how.. ADD I am. I do not seem to have the ability to focus on doing tasks very well. I don't understand what is wrong with me. I just seem to do other things without even thinking about it! I don't think I even realize what I'm doing half the time, and when i do I'm like.. oh whatever, when I need to say to myself "No I NEED to focus, can't be stumbling!" because I am realizing how ridiculous my procrastination is for the simplest tasks. An example being, I got home, and for some reason was extremely tired, and so I decided to take a small nap, considering I didn't have a giant amount of work to do. So I napped for a bout 3 hours, and well lets just say... When I woke up I was groggy and reluctantly decided to then do my homework. I only had to re-do a drawing for my Drawing 1 class, as well as do a few math problems. Not bad! So I found my drawing board, and was wondering where my original drawing was, because the reason I was redoing it was because I couldn't find the original. It turns out that my original was just clipped to my drawing board, and I didn't have to do the drawing again. Yay, thats good so i don't have to draw for half a hour. But instead of immediately doing my math, I sat there, and doodled on my drawing, and the picture here is what I did. (its backwards because i took it with the photobooth program). So now in the upper right hand corner I have a drawing of myself, at a desk, drawing. Clever I know, but its just how I am. And yes I know my drawing in general looks like a blob. But its a peice of crumpled paper. And now that I think of it.. I didn't put the shadows of the paper.. I don't care, whatever. I for some reason manage to do rather good in my art class, I have an A in the class, and I don't honestly do a great job in the class, I just listen to what she wants done.
So I am still tired, even though I slept an extra 3 hours, which makes no sense. But yes.. I procrastinate. I'm very bad.... Very Very bad. Lets see if I can work on it a bit more..


Side note: Miley Cyrus sucks, and her songs are overplayed wayyy to much. "Moving my hips like.. yea.." Giving me a headache like Duh.

Today was very very very very stressful, but it turned out to not be as bad as I thought! YAY! Tomorrow is my "easy" day at school so I'm happy. I'm getting really tired of people who are evil and think to themselves. " Hmmm... Grace is really really stressed out, so I'm going to be as evil as I can just to bug her and stress her out MORE! MWAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!!" Its just cruel, and mean to me. Why do you people do it to me! T_T I don't get it! Anyway I was extremely stressed out, because I had my project due today, but it turns out that I didn't have to present until later on this week, which means there is now a happy Grace. And it also turns out that my paper wasn't due, which makes me annoyed. But happy that I got that done. I hate school. I hate it so much. GAH! its so annoying.

What am I doing the rest of the day? I am chilling, doing a bit of work, and wanting to slam my head into the ground because I am tired. I almost fell asleep during math class, I really was yawning, and nodding off quite a bit. I looked around at one point, and saw that a few other people were almost nodding off as well. So my head hurts, and I want to sleep, but other then that, I'm all good. I am now gonna go home, and do some stuff. Maybe sleep at little bit today! I want food.. now that I think of it...

Anyway, to the title, I came into the video production room, and saw that someone was using special effects to blow up a barn, I thought it pretty cool. Oh and I was being a pyro during chemistry class by continuing to lite matches on fire. Lets just say I used about 20 different matches, because I was bored. Now, I'm bored, my shoes are shiny as Spencer just told me, and I am gonna go get food. Yum Yum I want foooood!

^^^^^ Those, Undefined. I hate them. I love the layout, but holy crap, I hate those. ANYWAY! This is my 2nd post, to respond to my first one. I feel as if I'm having a conversation with myself, and that just seems stupid. Blah blah Grace your this.. blah blah No I'm not! Your this Grace..
Its weird. Anyway I'm tired, and very off topic if you can't tell. I have done numbers 1,2, and 7, fully on my list of what I need to do. as well as most of numbers 3 and 4. So non existent readers, I am sorry so far I have failed you!

So I officially hate writing papers. Let me just tell you, I need the internet for both procrastination ( like I'm doing right now) and also for information. My genius self have yet to go stumbling around the internet (www.stumbleupon.com) . Because I have two topics to read about, and two web browsers. Thus, James Longstreet is Safari, and The Battle of Antietam is firefox( why won't people just call it firefox, not mozilla, the name of the program is firefox!). What I have done instead of work on stuff would be:
Sleep
Shower
Talk to people
Take a few pictures
read MLIA (Mylifeisaverage.com)
Watch part of pretender.. but then I fell asleep. ( I wish there were arrows so I could point back to the beinging of this list)
Write this blog
Eat
Eat a bit more
braid my hair
play with my puppy dog
draw a picture
and many many more.
Lets just say, I'm very bad when it comes to focusing on things. My brain just stops and decides.. yea I hate you right now, your not gonna focus!

Side note: What is with the radio commercial about family dimonds making a proposal so much more special. "It almost was more important to me then the proposal" is what the girl is practically saying. I feel bad for that guy.

So yea, this is my pointless babble. Fairwell nonexistant readers!

Ok, so today I will definitely have two posts, this is the post to get everything started for me. I have a crap load of work to do today, and my friend Spencer has a blog, and it made me want to get one. Being as odd that I am this is my blog to make me do something. I need to do many things tonight. Here is my list:
1. Go to bank and deposit money.
2. Call Best Buy to try and get interview.
3. Write paper on General Longstreet.
4. Do a whole project for a Civil war battle.
5. Do a Vocab Section #4.
6. Get permission slip signed.
7. Shower before tomorrow.
Those are my things to do, I honestly don't know if I can do it. Who of you non-existent readers are going to believe in me and tell me that I can do it?