A Moment of Grace

I am officially tired of being busy. I have been working like a crazy person and I have decided that I am not ready to be an adult. I would much rather watch DailyGrace all day, eat gummy worms or something along those line or munch on some lobster.

I have been working at my local target and I love being there. It is a great place to work. The pay is pretty good, the people are super nice, and if there are any problemos it is easy to take care of them. But I am just so tired of working. I am really not used to being an adult yet. I mean I might be technically an adult but I really just want to sit around doing nothing, like I have been doing today.

I don't know why I feel so busy but then again college is coming up and that is really making me stressed out. I'm going to an awesome college with some awesome people who I have already been talking to on Facebook. I'm like in love with one girl who is going to be living two doors down from me, because she is almost my twin- mentally.

In addition to this twin being awesome she has shown me my most recent addition, which is DailyGrace. I love her so much, she is freaking hilarious and makes me happy. We have almost the same personality and in addition to that she has the same name as me.

The resultant of me loving her so much has made me view her videos like these:
My personal Fave:


And then the 2nd best one ever:


'Chuting is amazing.

Anyway because of my new found obsession with Dailyhasanawesomenamethatisthesameasmine.

I have started a new blog. Dedicated to DailyGrace happenings in my life.
http://gracefaceverywhere.blogspot.com/
That is the link. Watch it. Subscribe. Read.

Eating is a thing humans do hopefully every single day( I say hopefully because I know that some people have eating disorders which is nasty business.. Anyway) Recently eating habits has been brought out in my life. HOLD IT IMMA BURN MY GRILLED CHEESE!


Nevermind it is all good. Anyway as I was saying food has been a big topic lately. For some reason there is being more and more news about food and people eating unhealthy food, at least that is the feeling I keep getting with this new law being passed about calories on menus.

Now that food is the topic my question now arises. What causes people to eat what they eat and why don't they eat certain things?

Vegetarians don't eat meat. Some cheat this by saying fish isn't meat or chickens because it isn't red meat, or even crustaceans So technically to some vegetarians there is only one type of animal that people eat which is red meat.. Which makes no sense at all. Then there are those extreme vegetarians who surpass the title of vegetarian and gain the title of vegan. (Where did this word even originate from? Did they think because it is vegetarian without the stuff in the middle they took out the 'etari' in vegetarian to make vegan?)
I respect vegans. A little bit more then I respect vegetarians. Being a vegan means true dedication. It might not be 100% healthy for their systems but all the same I still respect them.

Then there are those who eat EVERYTHING. Trust me when I know these people. I work at target in the food avenue. (which is technically pizza hut and all..) I stand behind the counter and I don't even eat half the things that we sell. I have people order items that are so extremely bad for them I don't understand how their bodies can take it. I had a child as me to put the nacho cheese on his hot-dog for him. (I am personally bias against hot-dogs in general so this might seem more outrageous to me.) In addition to that and a few other things he got I just didn't understand how he could eat that much food, and how his body could withstand that many calories.

We recently put up the calories on our menu board and so far nobody has seemed to notice that a combo of pasta, breadsticks, and a soda is approximately 1400 calories. The average person should eat about 2000 calories per day to be healthy. They just ate over half of the calories that they should eat in one sitting.

But then aside from those who limit their food because of morals, and those who don't limit in any matter there are those who are on a diet. Honestly I didn't think that dieting would be healthy for your body. But these people are so far the best people to serve food to. This is because when they buy things I don't feel horrible about how much food they are eating. Nor do I feel bad about not having a large amount of food that they can eat because most things that we sell have animals in them.

People overall need to watch how much food they eat. It is just crazy how much crappy food people eat. Now now if you see me sitting there eating foods that are not good for me and high in calories. I am a good exception. I don't eat much food in general and when I do eat I normally eat something high in calories, but not a huge amount of it. I don't remember the last time I fully finished eating one of those pasta dishes alone. I have eaten one thing today, and I probably will not eat again until later tonight during my break at work. sounds bad? I know.

Ok, this is my second attempt at this post. Why? Because the post before was absolutely horrible. Anyway. I have an undieing love for the instant messaging program called skype. I find it an absolutely amazing program and I hold it close to my heart (just like some people are with their Ipads). It is an amazing program that allows people to instant message, video chat, audio chat, and send files with ease. It is like the better version of MSN, and AIM, in my personal opinion. It is completely amazing. But alas my undieing love might actually come to an end. This is because the newest beta version of skype came out recently, and I must say I highly dislike it. It is in the danger zone.

What is the danger zone you might ask? Well. In Grace talk the danger zone is when they start to take away the different features in which I love that the program has. Example, AOL aim, I would use often, but once it got to the stages of having one instant message window for all. I hated it and it became danger zone. I switched to ichat soon after, which was a relief but sadly aim for me is no more.

Anyway Skype is changing a lot of things, for the worse and for the better. I think that the skype people need to realize that the old version of skype is completely awesome and there should still be the classic version of mac skype, that has the newest features like group video chatting. Otherwise this will really bother me. I highly dislike not being able to change the size of my conversation windows, as well as having my contacts on the same window as my chats. I feel like the program is slipping more away from ease of use but to simplicity which causes usage problems. It might be because I am such an active user, and I dislike massive change in my programs.

I feel mean to skype today, to be honest though. Because I just sit there and am sending them more and more response things which are small things, but then I connect a small thing I dislike to another thing that isn't working which causes a big problem. I just feel like I am harassing the skype employees.

But it is their job. I honestly just wish they would hire me to test out the programs because I am a teenager still, I am able to change things for the better. I know how teenagers think and we are the future. If you want your programs to flourish get the teenagers involved. Have them honestly test out the products, because we are the future and we are the ones who will eventually cause things like AIM to go out of fad and no longer used.

After reading the books, and watching 2 of the 3 movies currently out. I have officially decided my opinion of Twilight:
Twilight is the worst piece of crap I have ever read and the biggest waste of my time. Anyone who is a serious twilight fan makes me shake my head with disgust.
Ok. So first if you are one of those few who have not read or watch twilight please pat yourself on the back right now. Second I will give you a short explanation from a bias point of view what happens in twilight. Bella( Described as a girl with mousy hair and a olive coloured skin tone who is very self contentious, not very popular, and insecure with everything about herself.) moved in with her Dad after her mother marries another man. While going to school she meets the Cullens( A family of vampires.). The Cullens have a "son" in the family named Edward( Described in the book as a man who has a subtle beauty to him with pale skin that some women would have died for in the 1800's.) Edward at first doesn't like Bella because the smell of her blood taunts him, and being a vampire he wants to suck her blood. Eventually they fall into a petty teenage "love" where they want to be together but because he is dangerous to her he leaves her to be alone. While alone Bella falls again for another "beautiful" boy named Jacob( Who happens to be a werewolf.). From there on there is a continue of who she is going to pick, Jacob or Edward. In the end she chooses Edward, he gets her preggo and as the baby slowly kills her other vampires go after her life, and when she gives birth Edward changes her into a Vampire and the baby survives and they live happily ever after.


My reasons for highly disliking the books:
The plot takes advantage of the teen girls who believe they are in love with a strange and different man. It also takes advantage of those who are depressed, suicidal, and immature girls who believe that telling people their "suicidal" thoughts will get them attention.
The book is slightly well written except for the fact that the whole book needs to have ... in... between... each... word... because... that is the impression they author is apparently trying to convey with the movie. The book though does not have any actual plot.. wait back that up, it does have a plot. But the plot takes the thoughts of a teenager, who wants to have sex with a vampire and a werewolf, and explodes it into sparkling men, and girls who will have adrenalin rushes to imagine that the one they love cares. The whole book gives the impression that nobody is going to like Bella but as a matter of fact she has an admirer by the 5th chapter of the book.
The book overall does not make sense and the 4th book just makes me want to go throw up with how she becomes pregnant and then the baby is slowly killing her. I just find that screwed up.

The reasons why I didn't like the movie:
First of all, all that has been spoken of about the plot for the movies/books still stands. I don't like it, and it takes advantage of young girls and their innocent minds. Second, I absolutely hate that the characters descriptions from the book took a complete turn and they just said "screw the book we just want people who are ugly." Robert Patterwhatshisname should not be in the roll of Edward. My first reason is he does not look like he is suppose to, and my second reason is that he looks like a foot. You all know this opinion is completely true and you are even nodding your head that he does in fact look like a foot.

Bella also does not look like a mousy girl with olive skin tone. I don't understand. Whoever did casting for this movie did a absolutely horrible job.
Another thing that really bothered me about the movie was that randomly when Bella would be standing there she would get out of breath. Maybe that is just bad acting, or it is what she was directed to do, but I feel like she should have at least ran somewhere before you got out of breath. Another complaint I had of the movie was that for some reason nobody, but I believe the dad, could reply like a normal person. I have a feeling the script was written like this... because... that... is... the... only... way... they... could... have... had... a... 2... second... delay... between... each... word............................ The movie got really annoying when you would sit there for what a normal conversation would take 2 minutes, took the movie 10 minutes to portray. I don't understand it at all. It still makes no sense to me.


I have a few more reasons I highly dislike twilight, but alas I am extremely tired and I am going to sleep. I might add more later when I am in a ranting mood.

So I'm going to Greece. Exciting huh?! I am really excited to go but I have a few things I need to think over before I go on my trip. Most of the preliminary thoughts are already taken care of, this is because I was suppose to go to Greece in April, but alas I could not because a freaking volcano erupted. You see all that ash? That is what stopped me from boarding my flight and going on my merry way to a different country. Away from small town Maine. Anyway!

I already have figured a few things out, which would be camera memory cards, and batteries, and even converters for my camera battery charger. I have all those things figured out. But a few problems in my mind have come up because of the change.

In April the weather is a nice sunny and warm temperature, not a hell and not a blizzard. But I am now going in August. Guess which of those two I am probably going to face while I am in Greece. Hell. Checking the weather now, 6 days in advanced the weather for the 10th-14th so far says approx. highs in 94˚F and lows in 75˚F. The highest Maine has had this summer was approx. 87˚F with humidity. Thankfully though while I read the weather I look and smile, because it says that it should not be humid AT ALL. I would much rather have a dry heat, then have a really hot humid time. Humid is not my friend nor will it ever be my friend. I am not looking forward to such heat.

Another concern that I have would be is my clothing. Because of such great heat that I will be dealing with, I don't know if I have the correct clothing to wear. Being a person from Maine I don't really know the full effects of things such as mid ninety degree (f) weather. But I also do not know the effects of a dry heat, that I really am praying to have no humidity, yet again humidity is not my friend, nor will it ever be. I don't feel as if I have enough shorts to be comfortable on the trip, and my mother keeps saying to me that I should wear the dresses that we bought. Yes I want to wear the dresses, but I don't want to wear a dress every single day that I am there. I would also like to wear shorts I am comfortable in, and not shorts that are considered "short shorts." Ah clothing, why must it always be on a chick's mind. I do not want to be a tourist, who is sweating their balls off in pictures. This does not look good. Exibit A would be to the left. And exibit B would be to the right. I do not want to look this way. I do believe I might pack one pair of pants, but that is just in case I absolutely need them, as well as sweat pants that I do believe is completely necessary.

Another concern that I have is if I am bringing too much stuff. I feel like I might be bringing a rediculious about of things, as well not bringing the things I need. I don't know what type of clothing to bring but I am going to try and look at it realistically and say "Am I really going to wear this?" I don't want to bring an excessive amount of cloths with me. I do believe that I am going to take my mother's bag instead of my own with me to Greece. This is because the bag holds a CRAPLOAD more than my bag does. BUT also because this bag has a lot more compartments then my bag. I really want to try and stay organized while I am there in Greece, because most of the time I am looking through things and wasting time to find what I need or what I want, but in this situation I want to be on top of everything that I am doing. I know for a fact I am going to get tired of not knowing where things are while I am in a different country.

I have a few more concerns but I have decided that I can't recall them at this moment, so they must not be that important. Alas, farewell.

Watching the movie star trek probably was one of the best things I could do recently. Maybe taking vitamins or something along those lines, or going to sleep earlier are better for me, but alas I believe that watching such a movie was much more worth the time and energy spent sitting there, than taking time and energy (or regaining of energy) to do things better for myself or my body. This movie was.. I'm sorry but I can't describe it as anything other than orgasmic (I try and stay away from sexual terms while I'm posting for Tiffany Shaw reads this, and I feel like she doesn't want to read such things.) the movie was absolutely amazing. After crying 4 times and then yelping when my eyes gazed upon Spock for the first time, and then smiling at the amusing banter that happened as well as "I'll be monitoring your frequency." The movie created an amazing feeling of emotions through the whole entire film. Oh don't worry I did not cry 4 times in a row, but slowly through the movie my heart was pulled out of my chest and then patched back in whenever there would be a moment of Kirk kicking ass. The movie creates not only a happy and sad roller coaster, but also allows the love for such characters as Spock, Bones, and Kirk to develop to the point in which I would try and marry every single one of the characters if they did actually exist. The movie did not have a giant love interest which actually in the long run made me happy. If there was a love interest included it would have ruined the movie and made me upset. The movie allowed the story and the characters come through instead of allowing there to be some stupid side thing like they did in the Dark Knight (WTF IS WITH THE GIRL OBSESSION IN THAT MOVIE YOU ARE F'IN BATMAN YOU HAVE NO FLAW AS SUCH!! anyway...) I am now going to buy the movie. It created the perfect balance of emotions evoked from my large heart.
Overall:
Amazing movie.
No love interest = good.
Spock = Hot
Kirk = Hot.
Dark Knight annoyed me.
Roller coaster that ends happy is good.
I'm going to buy this movie.
And my final statement:
Watch.
This.
Movie.

Ok so recently I have decided that I need to sleep more, and change my sleeping habits. I have absolutely horrible sleeping habits. I either sleep a large amount of sleep, or very little. This I admit is my fault, but I starting to get to the point that I can't help it. I have to go to sleep extremely late, or I have a very difficult time waking up at the time that I need to wake up. Probably makes no sense at all, but that is how my body has apparently been accustomed. I am extremely tired right now. Yet again, my fault. I was up rather late (I am not going to tell you the time.. I might get yelled at eventually.) and now I have the tired eyes syndrome. You don't know what that is? Let me inform you. It is when you have been deprived of sleep and you just want to go to sleep, and close your eyes because you are very groggy and your eyes are just slightly drooped. Might not happen to you, but trust me. It happens to me and it is not fun. I still want to go to sleep, and I have been awake for about 3 hours. Shouldn't morning grouchy-ness be gone by now? Gawd I love being this tired( not really).

My humor is better though, thankfully. Because at this point of exhaustion I am just giggling about anything that can be taken dirty. It might not be amusing to you. But to me, it is hilarious. Which might not be a good thing, but I don't honestly care right now. Even though small things are not that funny to the average person, with my lack of sleep the small things just make me smile and giggle.

Aside from getting sleep I have also decided that I want to change a few things in my life. I feel like an imbecile half the time because I don't know really anything about the news or international news. This information bothers me. I want to be more informed about national and international news. I believe that I'm going to start reading the sites such as BBC and New York Times. Now, I realize that this might not work, but I think I can do it! I had someone ask me about Maine republicans and they tried having a discussion with me about it. And well... honestly I could not say anything really about the whole topic, because I had no clue what recently happened.

Today it has been brought to my attention the ridiculousness of this music video.

Though some people might not realize, and are not that observant but.. That is Miley Cyrus.
I just want to point of some things that really bother me about this video.
List begins here:
WTF WHY ARE THERE CAGES ON PEOPLES HEADS?! YOU ARE NOT LADY GAGA YOU CAN NOT PULL IT OFF WITH DISNEY IN YOUR PAST!!!
... Avis Cyrus .... no more needs to be said about that one.
Bumpits? Is that what you are using, because you have a biggg ass thing on your head.
Britney Spears like?
Where the hell did the people come from?
Is she even an adult?... like of age?
Disney to Sexy is way to drastic.
Where the hell did the wings go after the first like.. minute and a half?

A few parts of the lyrics I just need to point out:
" I go through guys like money flyin’ out their hands"
"If I see my reflectiona bout my intentions
I’ll tell ya I’m not here to sell ya
Or tell ya to get to hell"
"I’m not a trick you play, I ride a different way
I’m not a mistake, I’m not a fake, It’s set in my DNA"

.... You are not fake? Wots dis you say?
cuz the lyrics just said that you, Miley, Go through guys quite fast, and that you will tell guys off? And why was swearing necessary? Disappointed.

Let us compare with her other lyrics:
"Relationship we shared
It was awesome,
But we lost it
It's not possible for me, not to care "
I see a sudden change in her feeling toward relationships?

"so hard with my girls not around me
It's definitely not a Nashville party
'Cause all I see are stilettos
I guess I never got the memo"
I dunno... from the sex appeal in the other video and talking about guys such, and this. I dunno.

Overall. Miley you need to calm down when it comes to growing up you are still underage, you are being a stupid teenage girl. Exibit A: ----- >
Now.. I understand that you are a teenager, but I don't understand how you can think that taking such pictures of one self is going to help your career. I never taken pictures in such a manner, I had self respect. So why would you ever do that?!

I don't understand your mind, I don't like your singing, but that is just my personal opinion. Nothing against you, but I am getting tired of Miley Cyrus in the news for being riskay and doing stupid things. Do sexy videos in a bit, but don't go from one extreme to the other!!! Work your way there slowly. You don't wanna do a Britney, and so far.. that is were you are headed.

So.. tonight I am being linked a large amount of music videos from different countries, which I'm like cool! I have no idea what they are saying.. but really overall I have decided that these music videos are really amusing, and really funny... and odd. So I was interested and the music was really kinda cool and there was one that was the lyrics talking about just dancing. And I was happy when I heard that the lyrics were not perverted.

But then I got to this one music video.

And honestly, I was not sitting here watching most of the music videos.. some I was, some I was not. But I just happened to switch to the tab in which this music video was playing on, and I saw a bunch of topless guys dancing.. and I was slightly confused and had to start the music video over again. This music video probably is one of the most confusing things I have ever watched. And I haven't even watched the full thing. I have watched parts of it, but so far the first shot of the music video is just of a girl's ass and then it is this guy who really is trying WAY too hard to be gangsta dancing with a girl, no big deal... I decide it is meh but I listen to the music anyway..

Ok... so I just watched it over. I'm watching this.. and hes dancing with the girl, but then he pushes the girl away to dance with a guy. Which I don't really care, but now that I think about it the lyrics sound like "shake your bootay man" in my mind... and I mean. Gay or not, it doesn't bother me.. but I think the people linking this to me should have at least wanted me of the amount of hip thrusting that this video has.. because I just stopped to look and this time I saw a "gym" scene with a yoga class of all guys thrusting their lower regions. Yet again.. I have no problem with this, but normally here in the US the music videos don't have men thrusting upon men... so it just seemed odd to me how... blatant the music video was. I still would like a warning next time.

Oh! Amusing! I said amusing! I mean.. the other music videos were kinda cool! they made me smile with some of the bright wigs I saw and such. yea.. I'm too distracted by the fact that they didn't warn me of the hip thrusting.. See ya.

So I'm really bored, I'm not tired even though it is currently 4:23 AM. But.. I'm skyping, with another sleep deprived person and we are discussing a lot of really interesting things.

One interesting topic would have to be dreams. He was telling me about how he hates when you have lucid dreams while you are sick, because he took most of the pillows in the house that were not being used. And in his dream apparently the pillows were running a election to which one should be under his head.. and he apparently switched pillows throughout this dream.

Which reminds me of one dream.. that really kinda scarred me in my childhood. There was a witch who had a giant pot, and for some reason everyone I knew was in a line with their animals, and they were putting their animals in the pot.. and my parents were in the line, I was really upset because I didn't want to put my dog Molly in the pot.

I also remember another dream that for some reason my old house had a faucet on the back, and for some reason I turned it and I started to flood the Earth with a large amount of water, and I wanted to save everyone.. but I couldn't turn the faucet the right way to turn it off, I kept turning it the other way.

Another interesting thing that I learned about would be cars, I learned what the difference between a V8, and a W8 engine types, which I learned that the letter is the set up of the pistons, and the number is the amount of pistons that there are. As well as a car should be a light car to be fast, and well.. a spoiler adds traction, and "creates down force" on the car so that the car's rear end won't go up to the sky. And another thing is, engins are measured liters because it is the amount of displacement in the cylinders.

I'm not that tired, but I might go to bed soon, I don't know yet.. But I thought dreams were an interesting topic. I would go more in depth, but I am currently tired.

Why are we the way we are today? Why do we act the way we act today? When we think of how we act and how we are today we are formed by the people around us. We really are not ourselves most of the time because we form to the way other people want us to be. We change who we are so that we are accepted by society, even though we tell everyone to be themselves and encourage people to be an individual. Isn't this a bit contradictory? We change to be like everyone else because that is what society wants us to be, and yet they encourage people to be different? If a person tries to be what society wants, and what they want to be, then it is going to be very hard for them, and feat if they succeed.

I don't feel like myself most of the time, sad to say. But honestly, I try to be liked by people more than I am myself, which is hard, because the people who know the true me, and have spent enough time with me encourage me to stop trying, and just be myself. But honestly it is a lot harder then one might think to.. stop being what one might think society wants people to be.

So overall, I need to be more myself, and I need to stop trying to be someone different, because other people's opinions do not matter, just the opinion I have of myself. Also, last thought: Society is f'n weird.

Ok Ok, I know I have been behind on posting on my blog... ok I will admit it, I gave you all the hope that these blog posts were going to end.. but no... sorry they are not. I just have.. slacked.
A lot.
Maybe even a bit more then a lot.
Anywayy! lets just go along like you have all forgiven me, and there is nothing wrong with me not posting for like.. a long long time.

I'm gonna stop reminding you of that.
Anyway what should I write about? If you can't tell right now I'm writing down my complete thoughts. Though this might be slightly entertaining to you.. I'm gonna assume its not and ponder what I should write about for a moment, and give myself some time to press the enter button a few times.





I just realized... even though I might make some of you smile and maybe even chuckle a bit. My friend Spencer, is not going to laugh over any of this.. except for maybe this comment. Anyway back to my thoughts!







So I just looked up at the television, and it was showing me some prison thing with celebritys in it.. And I thought to myself 'I wonder what the people in jail say when celebritys arrive there... are they awe struck... or do they go I TOTALLY MET PARIS HILTON! when they get out of jail'
I mean honestly, if you think about it.. are they the type of people who are like.. hey cool its Paris Hilton, or are they the type of person who is like.. Paris! Paris!!! Can I get your autograph!? OR are they the type of person who gets out of jail and is like "DUDE! I totally met paris hilton!" and then asked where they are like.. "Ummm.... in jail?" How could they honestly pull that off.



More thinking..




Soup is delicious. Honestly.. i love soup. I had my friend critizise me for eating soup.. they told me its like... drinking a sandwich.. which now that I think about it would be splended.

Now my ranting is done. I might give you another blog post later on about how often I see satire. I am watching tv and finding it all so amusing..
Farewell non-existant readers. Talk to you later.

Ok, so lately I just have yet again been down on myself. And yes I know I bitch a lot of pointless stuff. but I wanted to display some of my photography that i have done recently, to kinda.. Feel less like a failure.

Here are some of my best pictures taken, Yay photography!



























































Check out more of my photography at www.flickr.com/gracelemieux

All my life, I have been given the whole " your too smart", " your really smart" and all that stuff when it comes to school. I honestly don't try half the time, because well to put it blunt. I am bored. Sitting in math class I'm bored, and its not because I just don't want to listen, it is because I just.. am really bored. It is all way too easy for me. My problem is I make small mistakes, which make problems. But aside from those small mistakes, I am bored. I don't do things when I am bored. Honestly I am WAY too ADD for that. I just.. try and focus, but lets be honest, it does not work half the time. I need to learn to focus, and that is my problem. I'm tired of hearing the your too smart talk, and I'm tired of the... why arn't you doing this? I don't know, I honestly don't know why I'm not doing it. I think its because I CANT FOCUS! And its a problem!

Sorry for not updating in so long, I know its rediculious. But I just have been off about a lot of things. I'm slightly stressed out, and I don't know the complete reason why. I just wish I could do a lot more, then what I am actually doing. But its rather hard for me to do that. I just wish I could do so many things, and I envision so many things. But for some reason I just.. can't do it. its getting me all very down and hard on myself, which isn't fun. I'm just in a bad mood plainly. I feel like I'm failing and behind in well.. life. and I seem to be getting alot of crap from people. And I don't feel like I did anything to diserve it.

Overall I'm very...... blah. Not sleeping well and everything. can't seem to fall asleep.


Ok I'm back! Sorry.. I wrote that when I was, well obviously down. I have lately been very up and down with my emotions, and yes.. I am a girl... and no its not because of THAT reason. Its just.. I am thinking probably more then I really should. I'm better currently. I'm getting more on track of things, and it makes me feel a lot better about things. I currently have a soap opera that I need a title for. It is about high school drama, and soap opera stuff, and no.. sadly no brain transplants.... Shaw wouldn't allow it. Sadly. Anyway, if you have any ideas, tell me and I will take them into consideration! Sorry for the lack of posts, I will definately give you more later, I will try and have philisophical conversations with Spencer. Talk to you all later non existant readers.. except that one that loves me!

Ok, now that I have your attention, I wanted to say hi. I don't know what to write about. But here we go!

Honestly I don't know what has been going on with me lately, I seem to just be very down and disappointed about a lot of things. Maybe I just need to become more positive? Maybe I need to realize that some things that I do are just stupid and that I should just get over it. Maybe I need to trust people more, because I feel like I do trust people. And yet I feel as if I need to prove that there is no need to judge me in a bad way. I feel as if I need to prove to people that I'm not as "loud, and obnoxious" as many people think of me. I don't need to do that though, I mean really I don't diserve such treatment. And when people treat me that way they are really making themself look stupid for how they are judging on how I/ people acted in the past. Narrow minded eh? I honestly don't think I'm that horrible a person. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone does stuff wrong. So am I a horrible person because I'm more outspoken about things then other people?

Isn't it bravery if someone speaks up and says something instead of sitting there just like the crowd? Or why is it that some people can speak up because they are socially accepted, and yet other people who are not as "popular" or accepted try to say something they are persicuted and told that they need to be quiet? Isn't this suppose to be a free country and people to have freedom of speech, and yet people are told to be quiet because they are not socially accepted? Why does it matter if people like you or not? Why does it matter how people see you? Because it affects how your treated and what you are able to do in your life.

Why don't I trust people? Because what is the point of trusting people who I know will hurt me in the end? And that my friends is also the reason as to why trusting people is so hard for me. Because I feel like I will eventually be hurt in the end. But when someone says something to me, why don't I believe them? Why do I harp over something said to me? Because I feel like I trust the person who says it, but I don't trust the people who affect it. Which is stupid of me. If someone says they will be there, or something will happen. I should believe them, not because its the nice thing to do, but its the logical thing to do. What honestly is going to change them from what they said they would do? Nothing. Unless its their choice to change. Like its my choice to trust more, and believe people more. Not because I had things happen to me that made me change, because I decided I want to change. To stop being stupid, to stop causing stupid things, and to stop pointless drama.

I'm gonna edit this later, Let me think more on it.

I like purple, so my edit is going to be in that color. Ew that was like.. pinkish purple. Blahhh! Anyway back to what I was saying. I need to realize what I have been doing, and how it affects me and how I treat people. Why do I need to be ridiculous, and crazy when I know that I trust the people I know well. I don't understand my own actions, and I need to stop being so stupid.

Overall people suck, and I have been stupid recently, where I need to understand and realize that I need to trust. More then I have for a while.

Today I had a day of Latin, I’m gonna complain, tell you funny things, and then also tell you about how JCL is amazing.

Complaining: Today I have had a headache all day, I have not had a time where my head does not hurt. I have taken I-Bee (ibuprofen) twice today and I am going to take another dose in a few minutes if my head still it hurting as bad as it has been. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe I have a migraine or something, but my temples have been pounding. Oh just took my third dose of I-bee. Anyway my head has been killing me so much today, coughing (which I have been doing a lot) seems to make it hurt worse, as well as being around people in Latin who seem to think that yelling everywhere they go is a great idea. My head hurts, really bad.

More Complaining: I was bitched at. Again, and it bugs me. First of all let me tell you that my phone is broken, it does not work with the front keys aside from the options key and the call key. So aside from those the others have malfunctions to them. Other then that I also have found out that my phone does not work on vibrate. It now will only be on silent, or ringer. Which is horrible for me, but it hasn’t been working for a while. Anyway back to what happened. I was texting once during the assembly at the Latin convention, to ask my friend Evan from a different school if he was in Latin, and if he was there. Because I miss him and Sarah got really pissed off about it. I didn’t think about it because it wasn’t like I was texting some random person for no reason. And I apparently continued to piss her off because I barged in on a picture behind her and I leaned on her. Whatever I don’t care. Anyway, I blew it off but people started treating me kinda.. bad. By ignoring me and not listening to anything I had to say. As I continued to go to the testing, I went into a room that had everyone’s stuff in it. It was the designated room for my school. Anyway I was in there for testing because at Latin conventions have you take tests to find out your knowledge. During the testing in our room, there was a phone vibrating near some people’s stuff during the whole testing. And then I had a F’n senior come up to me afterward to tell me that I have to turn my phone off because it was MY phone that was vibrating during the testing… Which is kinda bullshit, because well my phone doesn’t go on vibrate. So I told her so, and she got all pissed off at me, telling me I need to turn my phone off. My reply being that I can not turn off my phone, because then I would have to physically take out the battery and keep them separated. ( Remember my buttons don’t work on the front of my phone). From that she got even more pissed off. And I finally said f it to the whole conversation. Then the rest of the whole convention she continued to be pissed off at me, and so did other people who are her friends, causing more pointless drama. I even said to Cody at the beginning of the testing “Oh someone needs to put their phone one silent, that’s going to get really annoying really quick.” CLEARLY everyone in the room had heard me.. but yet again pointless stupid drama.

Funny thing: While I was at the convention I met some people from another school, which is great, because they were completely awesome. And I met a girl named Sam, as well as a guy named Jesse, and Eric( aka Chan). They are really awesome people, and it was funny because my neighbor named Tom came up to us, and I introduced Sam to him as Bellatrix (like Harry Potter), and Tom was like, “Oh! That’s really cool!” after asking me if I was serious, and I said yes. As we continued on he continued to believe that her name was Bellatrix to in the end ask me before we leave if her name was really that. I told him no. He had believed me the whole time that her name was that, from Harry Potter. That was really funny, and amusing to me.

JCL is amazing: Without a headache, I probably would say I had the time of my life tonight, because it was so ridiculously fun in the end. I got talking to a few guys, and then to Sam and a girl named Hope. They were damn cool people. And I love meeting new people, they don’t judge me like other people in my school do. I have to deal with that a lot. JCL is kinda like MYL in the sense that people won’t judge you very easily, the only big difference between the two would be that MYL you don’t have to deal with stupid drama and people from your school, you just have amazing people accepting you within a matter of seconds. I love MYL and JCL.

:D
Hope I amused you my nonexistent readers.

Oh T.V. what happened to the amazing animated shows like Rugrats, Ahhh! Real Monsters, Renn and Stimpy, Angry Beavers, Catdog, and much much more. It becomes a sad day when one older (like myself, to about age 28) can not go to nickelodeon (nickalodian as I spell it) (now called nick) and find a decent television show. I have also recently got addicted to TV shows, that I am watching online.

Now that I think about I am addicted to alot of things, that I don't realize. here let me list my things I'm addicted to:
The TV shows being:
Angel
Lost
Websites I'm addicted to:
Facebook.com
stumbleupon.com
mylifeisaverage.com
hulu.com
Youtube.com
(a new addiction) blogger.com
Things in general I am addicted to:
Tiff Shaw
Texting
Computers
Art
Talking
Pennies (inside joke)
Water ( that is delicious stuff!)
Photography (which is technically art)
Sleep
Eating

I think thats honestly all my addictions. I think I have enough. I don't need anymore. If there are anymore that I didn't think of, please comment to tell me what else I am addicted to.


Side note: I am in denial about my spelling errors, so please figure out what I am saying if the word does not fit. Its like a Puzzle!

Ok so today, lets see what I did, I got the F'N H1N1 Vaccine, and let me just tell you. IT HURTS! BAD! I'm so mad, I hate medical things in general, because well.. medicine hates me. And I don't like being on drugs. Drugs are bad m'kay? I hate medicine so much. I'm very unhappy about this vaccine, its not very nice to me. I am in excrusiating pain in my left arm while carrying things, because of the shot. I hate it. So much. This is what my pain looked like when I discovered the pain. I am a very very very unhappy person currently, I will probably continue to be unhappy until tomorrow night.

Honestly lately I have seemed to notice, how.. ADD I am. I do not seem to have the ability to focus on doing tasks very well. I don't understand what is wrong with me. I just seem to do other things without even thinking about it! I don't think I even realize what I'm doing half the time, and when i do I'm like.. oh whatever, when I need to say to myself "No I NEED to focus, can't be stumbling!" because I am realizing how ridiculous my procrastination is for the simplest tasks. An example being, I got home, and for some reason was extremely tired, and so I decided to take a small nap, considering I didn't have a giant amount of work to do. So I napped for a bout 3 hours, and well lets just say... When I woke up I was groggy and reluctantly decided to then do my homework. I only had to re-do a drawing for my Drawing 1 class, as well as do a few math problems. Not bad! So I found my drawing board, and was wondering where my original drawing was, because the reason I was redoing it was because I couldn't find the original. It turns out that my original was just clipped to my drawing board, and I didn't have to do the drawing again. Yay, thats good so i don't have to draw for half a hour. But instead of immediately doing my math, I sat there, and doodled on my drawing, and the picture here is what I did. (its backwards because i took it with the photobooth program). So now in the upper right hand corner I have a drawing of myself, at a desk, drawing. Clever I know, but its just how I am. And yes I know my drawing in general looks like a blob. But its a peice of crumpled paper. And now that I think of it.. I didn't put the shadows of the paper.. I don't care, whatever. I for some reason manage to do rather good in my art class, I have an A in the class, and I don't honestly do a great job in the class, I just listen to what she wants done.
So I am still tired, even though I slept an extra 3 hours, which makes no sense. But yes.. I procrastinate. I'm very bad.... Very Very bad. Lets see if I can work on it a bit more..


Side note: Miley Cyrus sucks, and her songs are overplayed wayyy to much. "Moving my hips like.. yea.." Giving me a headache like Duh.